recently, i have been in an email conversation with a friend i've known since 1979. over the years, she and i have shared aspects of our lives that would not be shared on a facebook timeline, a dinner party, or a family gathering. Most of our conversations, aside from hilarity, mutual face palming, and sarcasm, have been what some people may call heart-to-heart. Others may call it sharing life stories, which is quite different than telling stories about our lives.
We have earned with other the rights and responsibilities of honesty, confrontation, compassion, and trust... oh, and the occasional use of cliches. As an avid avoider of cliches, i usually give little credibility to a cliche as they are often associated with much flippancy and little caring.
As an exception, i took to heart a common cliche. It was 'hang on'!
hang on?
hang on!!
what transformed that statement into the equivalent of a hug or a eye-to-eye affirmation was this:
1. i knew the person from whom it came;
2. she has heard similar things from me;
3. they were words that i really needed to hear;
4. they carried no implication of a quick fix.
depression is something she and i have in common, as chronic and as pesky as ravenous mosquitoes inflicting several tiny bites and leaving something halfway between a sting and an itch. one occasional bite... ok. but the cumulative effect can be traumatic. depression eats away at hope, contentment, self-esteem, and energy. and with each bite, depression becomes more over-powering. treating the symptoms are important but preventative action is much more effective.
my friend and i have been comrades in our bouts of depression. we have suggested ways to cope, offered important things to remember, treatments that might be helpful, and the occasional comic relief from the numbness. i place her statement, 'hang on' in the category of vital things to remember when depression strikes.
in this context, hanging on connotes hope and assurance. but most importantly, it brings with it a very practical way to deal with depression. for a person to hang on, one must have some grip on reality, some strength to remain suspended in limbo, and a lot of trust that 'hanging on' will become 'holding on', which will become 'standing again on firm ground'.
knowing that i am in a 'hanging on' state, she was reminding me that it won't be forever. hanging on will bear fruits of renewed energy, stability, and mood. from experience, we both know that to be true. oh, yes we do!
due to personal effort, much-needed support, and professional help, i WILL be moving out of the hanging on stage soon. i will find from within the capacity to move on from this episode. it is the loving reminders of close friends that likely will make the wait time a bit shorter. and words from someone who knows the drill is saying loudly, "and i am hanging on for you and with you and beside you".
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