Horrid herod

one favorite and scary parts of christmas was the christmas play at church.  i loved the costumed adult characters, the fake beards, the flowing robes, and the makeup.  but the thing that scared me was when herod became angry.  danny clay, who played herod, had a booming voice.  and he knew how to use it.  as the scene approached, i would hold on to my mother to steady myself.  when the scene finished, i was relieved as well as excited that i had 'made it through' another herod scene. 

i eagerly awaited the premiere of 'raiders of the lost ark'.   in all the action of the movie, the scene in which harrison ford fell into a pit of snakes propelled me about 10 feet into the air.  later, i took a friend to see it.  he jumped, but i jumped again, maybe 8.5 feet.  it was crazy seeing the movie at least 4 more times, but i wanted to recreate that fear and the relief that came with it. 

saturday we vacation in puerto rico for a week.  the excitement is growing by the hour, as is the fear.  the excitement is about flying for the first time since i became ill.  since i never thought i could fly again, this opportunity holds very special meaning.  but i fear, to some degree, the risks taken due to my health.  also, i wonder how much i can get around.  but as i say to donna, i hurt whether i go or stay home.  so, let's go! 

i anticipate that upon returning home next week, i will feel the relief of successfully facing the fear.  but more importantly, i expect to feel the satisfaction (as i do now) that i won't allow the fear to control my life and spoil the fun.