Tracing paper

this morning i used tracing paper to transfer a picture i had drawn to a new page in my sketch pad.  unfortunately, i had used the wrong colors on the original page.  i was able, very easily, to recover the drawing so that i could start over again.  so what to do with the original page?  either i could tear out the page or keep it as a reminder that the process of drawing is not about perfection but about learning as i go.

i have a tendency to replay in my mind poor choices made that have been embarrassing.  i wish i could take them back.  i don't want people to remember me for those choices.  on the other hand, how can i grow unless i learn from my mistakes and move forward.

regretting usually leads me into self-berating which, in turn, can lead to depression.  that is a road on which i wish to avoid.   the alternative is learning from my mistakes.  but what does that mean?

learning takes place when behavior change comes from change in intention and attitude.  as a child, i scribbled on grandma hughes' metal cabinet at church with permanent marker.  after denying the deed, i finally came clean to my mom.  i was not allowed to have dinner at her house until i apologized.  stubborn me delayed the inevitable, but eventually i apologized.  grandma wasn't angry with me...  she was hurt which caused me to re-think my behavior.  i would do anything NOT to hurt grandma.   i never had a desire to use permanent markers that way again.  even though i had to see my graffiti after that, it was alright.  after all, grandma had forgiven me... and we moved on.