lapping it up

several years ago, robert fulghum published a book espousing the simple virtues of what we learned in kindergarten.  anything else of value that we learned could be traced back to that time in our lives.  although the idea is a cute one indeed, i challenge the notion because it is not true.  in fact, i would argue that some things from kindergarten may need to be unlearned.  but that is a subject for another time.

for almost 28 years, i have learned many things from a certain someone... but learning to trust her love enough... so much that i could safely return that love is probably the most important. 

in the beginning of our friendship, i was both amazed and overwhelmed by her ways of loving.  frankly, i could not believe in the love that came from her.  she was too friendly, too trusting, too loving...  it had to be fake.  only with time did i realize how authentically those qualities were expressed, not only to me but to others.  i spent a lot of time observing how she interacted with others.  the consistency with which she loved blew me away to the point that i wanted more. 

like a parched and thirsty dog lapping up water, i rapidly began to drink in the trust and love that she offered.  i opened my heart and mind to her in ways i had never done before.  i simply could not get enough.  over a course of five years, we developed a deep bond that tore away those protective boundaries that i had built for myself.  i didn't need them anymore. 

only when she left the country did i realize that not only did i love her, but i was in love with her.  leaving her at the airport, i realized that i had made perhaps the biggest mistake of my life... letting her go without expressing how deeply i loved her.

by some strange and wonderful circumstances, she decided to return to the usa.  my mind was racing and my heart was leaping, knowing that i might have a second chance to express those most frightening words, "will you spend the rest of your life with me?".   but i waited for months to ask that question because it required me to trust in a way that i never had before.  and i almost lost her as a result.

in a moment of vulnerability and of reckless love, i called her in papua new guinea.  her voice was stern and angry, pointing out that i had not said one thing about her return to the usa.  this was a critical moment.  with all the trust i could muster i asked her to marry me, knowing that she would respond with a clear and final rejection.

but her voice softened. 

and she said yes.

and nine months later, in a spontaneous but decisive act, we married while vacationing in bangkok, thailand. 

has she been consistent in her love since then?  has she continued to teach me how to love deeply and trust fully? 

YES!

and like that parched and thirsty dog, i continue to lap up donna sue richey-suttles' invitations to love. as a result, i continue to learn how to love and trust other people.

and in the spirit of robert fulghum's book, that is all i need to know