Organic

the last time i looked, organic food is everywhere in the grocery store.  whether it is fresh, canned, or frozen, organic food, along with free food (hormone-free, antibiotic-free) is everywhere.  and there is a price to be paid...  organic food costs significantly more than regular food.  in addition, the 'national organic program', an arm of the department of agriculture, enforces laws designed to define what organic food is or isn't.  what used to be a counter-culture phenomenon, organic food has gone mainstream.

the older i get, a move toward a more organic self seems to take on more steam.  the additives just don't matter as much anymore.  all the time, stress, and effort to make a good impression, to pretend i am something i am not, and to repress thoughts and feelings are not worth it anymore.  i am left wondering why the additives seemed for so long to be natural!

i won't go into my theories about the impact of education, religious training, rigid sex roles, media influence, and the desire to be liked have shaped me.  but if asked, i would glady enlighten you.  suffice it to say that those additives, for better or worse, have at times squeezed and then re-constituted me into a persona that is not naturally me. 

belting out the song 'i gotta be me!' could be inserted here.  perhaps a medley of tunes including 'r e s p e c t' and 'honesty' would make a lovely serenade.  but i promise to contain myself, at least until noon.  i will be content, instead, with humming a tune written and directed by and for me.