some of the ways in which i try to live my life are aspirations. the results of my experiences, these are ways to raise me to a higher, more life-giving place. they can be a challenge to reach, but well worth the effort.
humor: a friend posts jokes on facebook almost everyday. often, it's the first thing i read in the morning. humor offers the gateway to spontaneity and the release of tension. but more importantly, it unleashes the childlike qualities that makes living fun.
steady as she goes: donna and i have ridden a 4-year adrenaline high. hyper-vigilance to symptoms, hopes to reality; fears to nightmares, especially since donna's retirement, we have taken the opportunity to enjoy more r&r as we peel away layers of stress. it is not as easy as turning down the volume of a radio; it is more like adjusting the wheel of a ship, watching for the next peaceful island to rest.
deal with it: the anxiety of the visits to my pulmonologist starts to build within days of my last visit. i get so future-focused i turn a blind eye to the present. at these times i sit myself down and say, "self, deal with it. enjoy the present". self is a good buddy.
listening: taking in information is like eating a good meal. when i listen to doctors, to those i love, to my body; and to the world around me, i hear some groovy music. taking in a different perspective jettisons me out of an inner cycle of stinkin' thinkin' into a place of comfort and safety.
creativity: this is my essence; the craving to create. watching 'parenthood' last night, i imagined how i would change dialogues and situations if i were director. i might even have changed the clothes or hairstyle of the characters. even as a very young child, my stuffed animals would be my friends. i recall talking to them, crying with them, and caring for them; we had great times. today creativity exists in art, music, cooking, and decorating. it is in creativity that i find the most peace.
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