We all were something once

that was the reply from a minister/substitute teacher to some boys in his class.  he found them playing cards, which was against the rules.  he made them a deal; if he won a card game with each boy, then they would leave their cards at home. otherwise, they could play cards at lunch.  long story short, he beat them all.  his reply was in answer to the question, "how can a minister be so good at cards?".

just as the minister was no longer a gambler, we all were something once that we are no longer. and  whether he have told anyone, we know what we were or what we have done.  some our choices have negative consequences with which we have had to deal.

what if we were to flip the meaning of the minister's reply to include those things that we were at one time, but can longer do them for one reason or another.  to paraphrase marlon brando "i once was a contender".  looking back at our past selves can be nostalgic, remembering what we looked like, the accomplishments we made, and skills we acquired, the people we knew, and the endurance and energy with which we faced the day.

when in public, i wonder how many people label me as an obese man with a walker.  i wonder how many doctors want to have little interest in knowing more about me than a diseased or injured body part.  most of all, i KNOW i wonder what ever happened to the real me.  i look in the mirror and i cannot find him.

asking the wrong question will inevitably lead to a wrong answer.  perhaps a better question is, "just who is the real me?.  apart from my accomplishments, who am i?  the question sounds easy to answer, but it is quite challenging to answer because it requires and honest and somewhat objective manner of evaluation to acknowledge our values, worldview, mindset, and personality.  many of our cultural and religious training has taught us to be humble which translates as don't go bragging on yourself.

but digging into that question many reveal some deep, hidden treasures.  how have my values translated in action?  how have i helped others?  about what that am i passionate.  what gives my life meaning?  you and i just might find some consistency throughout of lives.  and we may find, as well, that life experiences have changed us in fundamental ways.  there is, after all, an important balance of those positive qualities that have never changed and of those positive qualities that we have acquired over time.

today, i can chose to be proud of the real stephen right now as well as the past stephens.  yes, i was something once, but most importantly, i am still someone who has every right and obligation to be proud.