Waiting

So we've waited four weeks for the tree cutters to trim our trees.  they are not answering our calls.  so we contacted another tree service to come for an estimate on tuesday evening. and the waiting continues.

So we've waited a long time...  and now donna's final week of work is upon us.  and the waiting now is getting annoying.  friday will finally get here.  won't it?

i had a 'suspicious' ct scan recently.  so the doc wants another scan in july.  waiting for that test, and the results is uncomfortable.  i am not a fan of the word 'suspicious' unless it's in a mystery novel. 

now, i am used (almost) to waiting for donna when we go somewhere.  she likes to 'enjoy her activities' until the last minute and then get dressed.  we have had conversations for over 26 years about her last minute rush and about my impatience.

waiting is a curious beast.  it brings with i distortions in thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.  while waiting for somethings, my mind whirls, my emotions intensify, and my behaviors are slightly unpredictable.  waiting seems to take over...  if i let it.

over the last few years i have attempted to make peace with waiting.  and it works sometimes when i realize i have little control over it.  my energy is precious to me; i don't want to spend it on things icannot change. 

so i wait, intentionally calming myself with the voice of reason.  the future will become the present.  it really will.  so i bide my time with things i enjoy... things that make pass more quickly. 

just like right now...  i am waiting to hit the sack.  tired from the day and anxious for a good nite's sleep.  that will come in about 40 minutes.  in the meantime, i focus on other things.  and before you know it...  9:15 has come, missing my goal of a 9pm bedtime. 

wez funny creatures, ain't we?